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In historic times, every aristocratic woman had her own lady in waiting; princesses would have multiple handmaidens. In modern times, a woman can’t afford such a luxury—except on her wedding day—where she has her bridesmaids!
If you’ve had the privilege of being asked to be a bridesmaid at your sister’s, cousin’s or friend’s wedding, you likely know that you will hold a special place on her big day. Being part of the bridal party is an honor, but there are certain expectations that may add a dimension of stress to attending the wedding. If you’re prepared, though, being a bridesmaid can be fun and enjoyable.
CitySaheli identified a few popular types of brides, as well as important bridal party members, and provided guidelines on how to navigate the waters as a bridesmaid.
Bridezilla
If the bride is a picky eater, a particular dresser, and generally has very specific instructions on how she likes things done or lives her life, you may have a bridezilla on your hands.
Usually, bridezillas have an unending list of tasks for you to complete before and at the wedding. She likes to be in control and is on top of her wedding game. Here’s a girl who has been dreaming of this day for so long that anything short of absolute perfection would be catastrophic.
The best way to deal with these types of brides is to allay their fears early and check in often. Constant communication and frequent meet-ups will keep her at ease and ensure that you are living up to your bridesmaid duties.
Mother of the Bride
In many cases, it is not the bride but her parents who will be paying for the wedding. In most South Asian families, the mother of the bride didn’t plan her own wedding because weddings are managed differently in the home land. It’s important to remember that moms tend to have different tastes than their daughters and if the mother of a bride, who is incidentally paying for the celebration, has specific ideas about the ceremony or flowers or wedding finery, it may fall on you as the bridesmaid to help mediate these discussions.
Depending on the mother-daughter duo, these situations can get pretty heated or you may find yourself sitting in stony silence. While no one expects you get involved with family matters, depending on how close you are to the bride and/or her mother, you can fulfill an important function of alleviating stress. Remind both parties that they are on the same side and everyone wants the bride to look and feel her best on her big day.
Mother-in-law of the Bride
Just like the mother of the bride, the mother-in-law of the bride may have specific ideas about her son’s wedding day. This is particularly true of the mother-in-law who doesn’t have daughters of her own. Typically, the groom’s side doesn’t pay for the wedding so the issue of money isn’t raised; however younger couples may have their parents split the cost of the wedding. It’s important to be aware of the role the mother-in-law plays at the wedding. After all, she also has been a bride herself and can bring valuable input to the process.
Since weddings are the first big celebration the two families will enjoy together, it is critical that good relationships are established and a precedent of unity and harmony permeate the event. As a bridesmaid, it behooves you to play an inclusive role in integrating the sister(s) of the groom, his mother, various female cousins, and other family into the pre-ceremony or pre-reception preparations.
Hands-off Bride
Everyone has that girlfriend who is generally laid back and flexible. Although generally these are terrific qualities, in a bride they can lead to indecision and time crunches. Brides who are unsure of what they want tend to need additional fittings and can often miss the boat on booking popular vendors. They may have venue changes, menu changes, and various other surprises in the course of wedding planning because they’ve either changed their mind or didn’t make a timely decision.
Some of these ladies will need a lot of hand-holding because they could be overwhelmed; you may not hear from others for weeks at a time and then get a panicked phone call with a list of approaching deadlines. Either way, it is important as a bridesmaid to remind the bride of important dates as well as serve as her sounding board for ideas and frustrations. If budget permits, you may want to advise your bride to hire a wedding planner to make sure that her planning runs smoothly.
No matter what type of bride you are supporting, remember that her wedding is one of the most exciting days of her life. In addition to her life-long roles of daughter, sister, and friend she will now also be wife, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law. If she asked you to be her bridesmaid, be honored, as she wants you by her side from the very first day of this new life.
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